As losses go, it's as heartbreaking as they come.
That’s one of the reasons sisters-in-law Mallory and Darra Chrysler felt it was so important to join nearly 600 other area residents at Couchiching Beach Park Saturday morning for the third annual Charlee’s Run, a family fun run/walk raising awareness for pregnancy and infant loss.
Both women have suffered the pain that comes with losing a child during pregnancy due to a miscarriage or shortly after birth.
“It’s still early, but you fall in love with them,” Darra Chrysler said, her voice breaking as she described the heartbreaking miscarriages that preceded son Cooper’s birth.
As well, she said there’s still a stigma associated with such losses that remain something people rarely discuss.
“It’s just so nice that I was always able to talk about it,” she said. “Too often, parents keep it a secret.”
Mallory Chrysler also suffered through the pain of a miscarriage before the birth of son Jett.
“This is our third year participating,” she said, noting too often couples don’t get the help that’s needed after such a traumatic loss.
“You absolutely need to be around other people for support. It’s very important for us to be here (today).”
Dave and Mallory Holmes, who launched Charlee’s Run three years ago, said they’re taken aback by the response to the event that has now raised more than $137,000.
“I never thought it would get this big; we’re so amazed,” Dave Holmes said, noting it truly does take a village to raise a child. “Charlee’s lucky to have come from such an amazing village.”
Added Mallory Holmes: “It’s bittersweet to have such a great turnout because we know there are a lot of families here that are hurting.”
The Holmes' hearts were broken on April 29, 2011 when their infant daughter, Charlee, died mere hours after being born at Orillia's Soldiers' Memorial Hospital (OSMH).
After the loss, they had to drive to Newmarket to find a support network to help them through their grief.
And while the couple have since welcomed sons Mackenzie, three, and Keenan, six, into their lives, the hurt never goes away. That’s why they say it’s essential that parents continue talking about the loss of a child.
“It’s a conversation that’s been in the dark too long,” Mallory Holmes said. “You see the hundreds of lives that were lost and represented here this morning. It’s important that people know they’re not alone.”
During its first two years, Charlee’s Run was able to raise almost $100,000 for pediatric and neo-natal needs at Orillia Soldiers’ Memorial Hospital (OSMH).
This year’s run is expected to top $42,000 with funds going toward the purchase of a bereavement cart, which will be in lavender (the international colour of pregnancy and infant loss) and include materials to make hand and foot moulds, digital memory cards so families can take pictures of their little one's home and a variety of resources to help families through the grieving process.
Other funds from this year’s event will be used to support bereavement education for OSMH staff who work in high-risk areas of the women and children’s program as well as bridge the funding gap in purchasing a central monitoring system to improve care for the hospital’s tiniest patients.
Katie de Hart and her husband Chris traveled from London for this year’s fundraiser.
“My husband and Dave (Holmes) are really good friends and we want to continue to support them,” she said. “They’re an amazing couple and this is a great event.”
