In the quiet hours after he left, the house was eerily still. Except for the dog, who refused to stop shaking.
Animals sense fear—they just can’t articulate it. The dog’s trembling mirrored the emotions of everyone in that house: The dread, the exhaustion, the relief mingled with uncertainty. This was not a home; it was a battleground, and the scars of that war were etched not just into the people who lived there, but in every corner of the space.
Domestic violence is often spoken of in terms of broken bones, bruises, and shelters. Yet, its impact is far more insidious, seeping into the very fabric of daily life—into the children who learn to tiptoe around rage, into pets who absorb the chaos, and into homes where silence can feel deafening and freedom, unattainable.
In Canada, an average of 400 women and children flee abusive homes to access shelters every night. These numbers are startling, but what about those who stay? The reasons are complex and deeply personal: Fear of retaliation, financial dependency, lack of resources, or the hope that things will get better.
The cycle of violence runs deeper than personal experiences—it’s rooted in centuries of social norms, historical trauma and ingrained power dynamics.
The history of violence against women has been shaped by patriarchal structures that normalized control, suppression, and coercion. This isn’t just a personal issue; it’s a societal one, reinforced by economic and political systems that often left women marginalized and dependent.
Recognizing this context is essential for understanding why breaking the cycle requires more than just a safe space; it demands comprehensive approaches that address self-agency, education and economic empowerment.
Generational trauma, where cycles of violence and hardship persist across generations, can create an unseen but powerful grip on families. Children who grow up in these environments often internalize the violence they witness, either repeating the patterns or facing a lifelong struggle to overcome them. The importance of programs that offer tangible tools and opportunities for breaking these cycles cannot be overstated.
Illustration by activist artist AleXsandro Palombo
Domestic violence is a problem so widespread that its victims and perpetrators could be anyone. Between 55 per cent and 95 per cent of female domestic abuse victims never contact non-governmental organizations, shelters, or the police for help.
Domestic violence has deep roots. It’s more than the physical or emotional abuse that’s visible — it’s a generational echo, a cycle reinforced by silence, dependence and lack of opportunity. It’s not just a private matter; it’s a community issue.
In Simcoe County, there’s a shift happening: a move from crisis intervention to long-term empowerment that helps women rebuild, not just exist.
When we talk about domestic violence, the conversation often stops at the moment of escape. But the truth is, the real work begins after. Safety is just the first step; what comes next is the uphill battle of reclaiming autonomy and rebuilding life from the ground up. Programs across Simcoe County understand this reality and have stepped in to provide more than a temporary solution — they offer tools for real change.
StockCake photo
La Maison Rosewood Shelter in Midland, run by Huronia Transition Homes, is one of these essential resources. It offers more than a roof over one’s head. It’s a place where women and children find immediate refuge, support and services that prepare them for the next chapter.
With a 24-hour crisis line ((705) 526-4211 or toll-free at (800) 461-1750) that’s always open,
But a roof and safety, as vital as they are, aren’t enough. That’s where practical support like Operation Grow steps in. This initiative connects women from Rosewood and beyond to employment opportunities in sustainable hydroponic farming.
Here, participants learn hands-on skills that aren’t just about growing greens; they’re about reclaiming power, finding confidence and building independence. When women tend to the plants and see something grow under their care, it reflects their own journey—each seedling a quiet victory.
Central to Operation Grow is its innovative vertical hydroponic farm, the ZipFarmTM. The system operates year-round, producing fresh, pesticide-free, non-GMO greens and herbs that bring new meaning to nourishment. Unlike limp, over-handled greens in grocery stores, the produce here is vibrant, locally grown and cared for by women rebuilding their lives.
Monika Rekola photo
Operation Grow offers: Year-round food security, untethered from the seasonal limitations of traditional agriculture; eco-conscious practices, eliminating harmful pesticides and reducing water usage by up to 80%; and local distribution, supporting the community and reinforcing women’s roles as contributors, not just beneficiaries.
Why economic independence changes everything
One of the most under-discussed aspects of domestic violence is the economic entrapment that keeps so many women stuck.
Financial independence isn’t just a perk; it’s the key to making choices that are safe and sustainable. It’s hard to make life-changing decisions when there’s no financial safety net. Programs that offer skills, job opportunities and education give women back control over their lives. This is the real break in the cycle—when women can support themselves, the options open up.
Supporting survivors of domestic abuse is crucial for ending cycles of harm and facilitating recovery from trauma. Survivors often face emotional and physical trauma, financial instability and conditions like PTSD, depression and anxiety. The impact extends to children, who may develop long-term mental health challenges or adopt harmful behaviour patterns if exposed to abuse.
Understanding the abuser’s mindset reveals five pillars that make change difficult
- Faulty Belief System: Deeply ingrained, often patriarchal beliefs drive abusive behaviour, rooted in upbringing or cultural and religious bias.
- Entitlement: Abusers feel deserving of control and privileges at their partner's expense, fostering double standards and oppression.
- Image management: Abusers mask their true nature, undermining the survivor’s credibility by cultivating a positive public image.
- Low emotional intelligence: Limited emotional maturity leads to defensiveness and aggression, blocking authentic, respectful communication.
- Preferential Treatment: Social circles often shield abusers, diminishing accountability and silencing survivors, which perpetuates trauma.
Awareness and breaking these cycles through supportive, trauma-informed interventions are essential to empower survivors and confront these destructive dynamics.
www.TheDuluthModel.org
Illustration by activist artist AleXsandro Palombo
In a world where stories breathe life into our deepest fears and hopes, domestic violence remains one of the most pervasive and silenced traumas. As we step into Domestic Violence Awareness Month, it's essential not only to remember the grim statistics but to delve into the stories that humanize them—stories that, although sometimes fictional, mirror real experiences and give voice to those who suffer in silence.
My upcoming novel, Fool’s Gold, paints a vivid narrative of such silenced battles. It's not just the tale of a young woman drawn into the allure of wealth and status in the sunshine of South Florida; it’s a raw chronicle of finding oneself entangled in the deceptive gleam of promises that leave bruises, some visible, others buried deep within the soul.
The protagonist of Fool’s Gold marries into what appears to be a gilded world—an elite marriage, a picturesque home, a life dressed in the façade of success. But beneath that glitter lies control, manipulation and emotional torment that slowly wears her identity to the bone. The whispers of her husband's disapproval are louder than any scream, and the pressure to maintain perfection suffocates any thought of rebellion.
Through her journey, readers are invited into the psyche of victims who wrestle not just with their abuser, but with themselves. "Is it really that bad?" "Should I speak up?" These questions echo within the hearts of countless real-life survivors who endure cycles of doubt, isolation and fear.
Though Fool’s Gold may be a novel with fictional elements, it is built on a reality that thousands of survivors know well.
Like the protagonist, many are entranced by the hope of stability or glamour, only to find that it comes at the cost of their mental well-being. Just as in my character’s world, the story often doesn't reach a climactic rescue; it hinges on quiet realizations, internal strength and the decision to seek freedom against odds that don’t guarantee safety or support.
By bringing Fool’s Gold into this conversation, I aim to blur the line between fiction and reality in a meaningful way. Stories, whether imagined or drawn from life, serve as mirrors that reflect our collective pain, resilience and potential for change.
When we read narratives that resonate, we find empathy, understanding, and perhaps, courage. They remind us that domestic violence isn't confined to certain demographics or circumstances—it can happen to anyone, behind any door, in any neighbourhood.
As we raise awareness this month, let’s commit not only to hearing statistics but to seeking and sharing stories. Let’s challenge ourselves to be the friend, neighbour, or coworker who reaches out, who listens, and who doesn’t dismiss signs of control and manipulation as mere "domestic issues."
Because sometimes, it’s a story that sets the first spark for someone to find their way out of the darkness. Let’s also celebrate the solutions—those that root themselves in empowerment, sustainability, and hope. Because when women rise, communities flourish. And when communities flourish, the cycles of violence and neglect start to fade, making way for a future that is greener, stronger, and more just.
Monika Rekola is a certified landscape designer and horticulturist with a passion for protecting both nature and human rights. She can be reached at [email protected]
