LETTER: OSS student says it's 'homophobia. Plain and simple'

OrilliaMatters welcomes letters to the editor at [email protected] or via the website. Please include your full name, daytime phone number and address (for verification of authorship, not publication). The following letter is in response to the article 'Pride flag at Orillia school doing 'more harm than good'

My name is Aiden Harbidge (he/they), and I am a gay student at Orillia Secondary School (OSS).

In the beginning of June, I was on a school trip and having an amazing time, but I quickly began receiving some very concerning messages from many of my friends about the rampant homophobia and transphobia happening at OSS.

For Pride Month at OSS, a Pride flag was flown, and a walkway was painted to look like a Pride flag. Many students were very upset at this, and the sudden anger at the Pride flag made many of my peers scared for themselves.

There was talk of desecrating the flag, and the walkway was eventually vandalized with white paint being strewn over it.

A lot of people claimed their issue with the Pride flag being raised was because the Canadian flag was being taken down and hid behind a sense of “national pride.”

But meanwhile, a large portion of those students are the ones who wear hats and talk through the national anthem. It is just homophobia, plain and simple.

Flags other than the Canadian flag have been flown before, and nothing was said about it, but simply because it is a Pride flag, it becomes an issue.

Just because the Canadian flag was taken down, straight, cisgender people felt like they were somehow being discriminated against, and the culprits were queer people.

This fact made them lash out and do things like call students slurs, and made many queer students feel unsafe at school.

Several petitions were made in an attempt to take the flag down, some even using slurs. Others had the goal of advocating for a second flag pole to show support for Pride all year, which is admirable, but they hopelessly pandered to homophobic people and only fanned the flames.

These petitions, even if they were in good faith, made homophobic and transphobic people think that they had the power to make a change. It made them feel like they could push queer people around and take a stand, causing a lot of hurtful rhetoric to be spread.

It was super demeaning and shocking to see hundreds of signatures in support of these petitions.

OSS also took a photo with queer students and allies on the vandalized walkway to take a stand against hate. But as people left their classes to attend, they were laughed at, and during the photo, a group of students gathered in the front foyer to watch and make homophobic comments.

Even while I was away, I experienced homophobia, with people on the school trip saying things like “ew” and “gross” to everything Pride-related.

I am absolutely disgusted and appalled by the acts of my peers, and this kind of behaviour is why we have Pride Month.

I have heard the sentiment that taking the Canadian flag is disrespectful to the soldiers who have bravely served our country. I would like to say that I am grateful for everything soldiers have done for this country, but may I remind those who spread this idea that the Canadian flag is a symbol of all Canadians and that the symbol for the soldiers is actually the poppy.

If you wish to see soldiers and veterans celebrated, May is a great month for that, as it is National Military Appreciation Month. Soldiers have fought for the freedom of all Canadians to express themselves, and that includes celebrating Pride.

Some also felt that it was inappropriate that the Canadian flag was taken down at all and that it shouldn’t have happened, but as the Simcoe County District School Board’s rules for flags state, “Upon the direction of the Director of Education, or designate, a single flag, other than the National Flag of Canada may be raised for a specific time to recognize an event, occasion or period of significance.” 

This rule definitely applies to the Pride flag, as it is Pride Month, and there should have been absolutely no issue with this. Some people also suggested that the Pride flag flown beneath the Canadian flag, but as per the national standard regarding the Canadian flag, “No flags, banners or pennants should be flown together on the same pole.”

A separate flag pole would be a great solution moving forward, and would allow for support of Pride and other communities to be shown all year.

I have heard that OSS has already been discussing this, and I feel that it is a great idea. But regardless, none of this hate should have ever happened.

Pride Month should be a time where we are reminded of the great change and achievements that have been made within the Pride movement, and a time for queer people and allies to celebrate. But this month, the exact opposite has been shown to me.

This Pride Month, I am reminded that the world is still a very scary place to exist as a queer person, even in such a progressive country.

I have it so good for a queer person, with a loving household and amazing friends, but it still hurts to always be the educator.

I want me and other queer folk to be understood, and I want people to be educated, but it is so frustrating to always have to be telling people the “dos” and “don'ts” of my existence.

Straight, cisgender people don’t have to tell me about what I can and can’t say in regards to their sexuality and gender or have to deal with things like coming out.

They don’t have to worry about who knows they are straight or who sees them holding their partner's hands.

They don’t have to feel like they can’t live a happy life and grow old, or have to make the choice between remaining safe or remaining themselves.

I do not care if you think Pride is “too much” or that it is being “shoved down your throat”. We have Pride because of all of the hardships we have had to deal with and all of the hardships we continue to deal with in the present.

As queer people, we have always been fighting for ourselves, and we continue to have to.

For too long, queer people have had to hide themselves from the world, and we are finally at a place where we can begin to live as ourselves, and we will continue to celebrate our existence and be ourselves, regardless of what hateful people do.

Aiden Harbidge
Orillia